This one's for you, jigenm4c
, so listen up:
I don't think that, in general, I'm an easy person to piss off. I like to think that I'm pretty easygoing most of the time. Generally I can deal with just about anything that happens. This is after all life, and I'm not expecting to get out of it alive. So I don't think I have a large number of buttons to push. But the few I have - though they seem like little things - tend to really rile me. So let me make this brutally stark and unmistakably clear:1. IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO HANG OUT WITH ME, DON'T SAY YOU WILL.2. IF YOU AGREE TO HANG OUT WITH ME BUT THEN CAN'T DO SO, CALL ME AND TELL ME SO.
I don't believe either of these are hard things to do. Which is why I tend to get pretty pissed off when people fail to do them...
In regards to number 1, trust me when I say that I will be far, far, FAR more offended if you ditch me without a word than if it takes you a couple seconds to think about and decide whether you want to accept any particular invitation I extend. I have no problem if you're busy, have a prior commitment, need to work, just don't feel like doing anything, etc. Just fucking say so. It's not rude to be honest, no matter what some oversocialized morons say. I'm an adult (well, at least nominally) and I can handle the fact that my friends have their own lives and activities that don't necessarily involve me.
In regards to number 2, remember that you really have no even moderately defensable excuse for not doing this. I carry my cell phone with me at all times when I'm not home. I'm particularly careful to carry it when going somewhere that I'm going to meet someone else - I understand that shit does happen. So if there is some reason you can't meet me where and when we agreed, then pick up the fucking phone and call me. You're nearly 100% guaranteed to reach me. If not, I have voice mail. If you don't have my number even though I gave it to you, call j_b
and ask him, he has it. And then program it into your cell phone for next time. (This is not rocket science...) Or drop me an e-mail. Or do SOMETHING. Make some fucking attempt to communicate, damnit! It's not that hard.
Additionally, no bullshit "polite" excuses are necessary at this step. If you just don't feel like going, changed your mind, whatever, just say so. I don't think I've ever gotten pissed off at someone for being honest with me. Josh was going to go see T3 with me last night, but he couldn't go because his back was hurting him pretty bad. He didn't think he could deal with the theater seats for an hour and a half. He told me so, and I was cool with it. Not a problem.
The reason that failing to do the above two things pisses me off so much, is that it shows a profound lack of respect for my time and my trouble. The message you're sending to me is, "I care so little about what you think that I'll agree to do something with you, and then just completely forget about it, or blow it off, and not even have the balls to tell you so." It shows that you're stupid, disorganized, and cowardly to boot. Also that you don't think I'm worth being honest with.
Just don't do it. Ever. Or you may not have a chance to do anything with me again. Ever. I have a long memory, and I hold grudges for a long, long time. Ask Nievie, who I didn't talk to for 11 months.
You're unlucky this time in that you happened to push my button. Other people have done it before you, and I am sure someone will do it after you. Just be aware of the consequences of pushing this particular button of mine. It REALLY FUCKING
pisses me off.