November 12th, 2003


[Fark] I, for one, welcome our computer-brain-implanted cyborg masters.

Less than a month after a widely heralded experiment showed how thought-reading implants can work in monkeys, scientists presented new findings Sunday suggesting such machines could work in people, too.

Dr. Miguel A.L. Nicolelis of Duke University said previously unreported human experiments demonstrated success with one type of a so-called brain computer interface, or BCI.

Nicolelis said the important point was that the principle had been shown to work: People can control devices merely by thinking.

Ultimately, it may be possible to design high-tech implants that can read and direct the muscles using the patient's own intentions and natural sensory equipment.

For now, it's a much less grandiose business of just tuning the equipment to the human brain's frequency.

Meanwhile, Nicolelis decried the entry of corporate interests into a field once thought to be purely science fiction, now being taken seriously as modern medicine at the cutting edge of technology.

Once we all get computer brain implants, how long before they're net connected? And how long after that before the spammers start sending ads straight into your visual cortex? And after THAT, how much longer before someone figures out some way to do a denial of service attack on your hippocampus? And will the end result of too many brain-burning attacks be that you shamble about, and attempt to eat other people? (Thus making you a "DDoS zombie"...)

In other news, it's time to send the missles. Humanity has, once again, proven itself too stupid to live:

The creators of the video game series "Grand Theft Auto" want a federal judge to dismiss a $246 million lawsuit filed by the families of two people shot by teenagers.

Stepbrothers William Buckner, 16, and Joshua Buckner, 14, were sentenced in August to an indefinite term after pleading guilty in juvenile court to reckless homicide, endangerment and assault.

The boys told investigators they got the rifles from a locked room in their home and decided to randomly shoot at tractor-trailer rigs, just like in the video game "Grand Theft Auto III."

I don't know who's stupider. The morons who thought shooting at random cars would be "lotsa fun!" or the morons who think that a video game could cause them enough mental damage to do it. (Obviously, there wasn't much left to damage...)

Cuz, you know, just yesterday in Jak II, I went and used my hover-board to throw plasmite bombs into eco wells. So that makes it okay if tomorrow, I jump in my Hummvee and go throw grenades into oil wells. Er... wait...

[/.] One-wheeled motorcycle a reality.

The Embrio also borrows several other advanced technologies from cars, like infrared night vision and an active suspension, which can vary its damping rates based on road conditions. Its riding position resembles that of a motorcycle, and it balances one or more passengers with a network of sensors and gyroscopes. To move the Embrio, you use an accelerator trigger on the left handlebar and a brake trigger on the right.

The vehicle is made of lightweight materials, like aluminum, magnesium and nylon. It weighs only 360 pounds.

Although Bombardier says the gyroscopes are enough to balance the Embrio, the vehicle is also kept longitudinally stable by a smaller wheel that operates like an airplane's landing gear. It touches the ground when the vehicle is stopped or just starting. Once the Embrio is in motion, the landing gear will retract when the vehicle reaches about 12 mph. During braking, the gear redeploys when the vehicle slows to 12 mph.

Compare and contrast with this image (720x480, 183k) from the anime The Venus Wars.

Oh irony, thou art a harsh mistress... again!

"In a turn of events the 30 28-year-old characterized as "horrifying," Kevin Widmar Ben Cantrick announced Tuesday that his mother Lillian Mimi has discovered his weblog.

Upon discovering the fact, Widmar Ben mentally raced through the contents of his blog. He immediately thought of several dozen posts in which he mentioned drinking, drug use, casual sex, and other behavior likely to alarm his mother.

Well I'm not using drugs, and I only wish I was having casual sex, and I don't generally write about getting drunk as I find it pretty boring to be quite honest. But there's still plenty to get me in trouble here. ;]

<ring, ring> "Hi Ben, it's mom. Uh... what's this I'm reading in your blog about TOASTER PORN???" (Or "three girls at the same time", or "back alley abortion clinics", etc, etc, etc...)

Honestly though, I pretty much assume that everyone I know (yes, including my mom!) either reads this LJ, or would do so if they felt like it. Amazing all the stuff I post, in light of that...