December 29th, 2009


A mighty dismal kludge.

## The web Flash sucks. It is a mighty dismal kludge built out of a thousand
## tiny dismal kludges all band-aided together, and now those bottom-line
## clueless pinheads who've never even heard of "TCP handshake" want to run
## *commerce* over the damn thing. Ye godz.

- Fyodor,

Today, I spent 3/4ths of a day hitting my head on the code to merely draw a red rectangle between two layers in a MovieClip. (Edit: A thermometer, if you're curious.)

Ultimately, I had to resort to creating a whole new symbol in CS4. And that, of course, had to be another whole damn MovieClip itself. Because we couldn't allow people to just use Sprites (or, god forbid, simple Bitmaps) for static graphical objects, now could we Adobe?

Then I had to battle with the problem of calculating where said MovieClip would go on-screen, and how to calculate the correct measurements for the rectangle in Flash's insanely broken and wrong-headed "Y increases downward" coordinate system. Wanna see the code?

column.drawColumn(0, -(bottomY -, redWidth, (bottomY -, redColor);

If that makes any sense to you, you're a much smarter person than I am. I particularly love how the starting Y coordinate has to be negative. So very intuitive!

And all this bullshit because when I do, it unfailingly draws my whatever below all layers (and thus, underneath all other graphical elements) in the MC.

There's no way Adobe uses their own code. If they ate their own dog food, this kind of unbelievable crap would have been shit-canned seven versions ago.

(And don't even get me started on Adobe's burying of Red5. A horrible, nasty, evil, open-sores hack (but I repeat myself) that required a whole fucking Apache Tomcat installation just so you could record a three second sound clip from the user's mic. But it was a threat to Adobe's $5k (massive rip-off) Flash Media Swerver, so they got it dragged offline. Can't have people recording audio in a flash app! No siree! Not unless they fork over a hundred times what that kinda thing is worth - to us!)

God I hate you Adobe. Hate you so very, very much. From hell's heart, I stab at thee...

Gamasutra reviews the best games of 2009. 13 *pages* worth of them.

10. Enviro-Bear 2000: Operation: Hibernation (Justin Smith) [Windows freeware, paid iPhone version available]

Created for the TIGSource Cockpit Competition - and, rightly, the winner - Enviro-Bear 2000: Operation: Hibernation is what you might call 'downright genius.' Taking control of a bear just as winter is approaching, the task is to gobble down enough fish and berries and then find a place to hibernate before the snow starts to fall. All this takes place in a car. Obviously. This is where the hilarity begins, as - and prepare for the bleeding obvious - our bear isn't the world's best driver. In fact, he's only able to grab one part of the car's controls at a time. Cue trying to accelerate with your paw, then frantically grabbing the wheel and dodging around that pine-cone tree, or that angry looking badger, or even the other bears who are, of course, driving their cars around looking for food too.

Who is playing video game? Bear is playing video game! HOW CAN THIS BE??

I've been convinced to buy Raiden Fighters Aces just by looking at the screenshots...

Nintendo, Microsoft: I'm still waiting for Scribblenauts on XBLA. Make it happen and you'll both make bank. Refuse to coop with each other and you'll both make zip. It's easy money, folks...