Ben Cantrick (mackys) wrote,
Ben Cantrick

Disclaimers suck ass.

This is exactly the kind of entry that people keep telling me prevents me from getting a job. "People are going to do a Google search on your name, and they're going to get all weirded out!" (They are? About what??) "Quick, hide any sign of not being a really boring, square, unimagitive, unhumorous, repressed person! Come on, do it! All the COOL KIDS are doing it! You'll have more friends! Etc, etc." So...

UNBELIEVABLY FUCKING STUPID DISCLAIMER FOR "TEH" RECORD: This post contains contents of a sexual nature. If sheep jokes or offhand mention of the Kama Sutra offend you, then START RUNNING RIGHT NOW, SUCKA! I didn't put this article up because I like cheap pr0n, I put it up because it's actually fairly well written and amusing. It also happens to be about sex. If that bugs you, what the hell are you doing reading this?

From Fark:

Sex manuals have always seemed to me about as useful as VCR instruction manuals: If you don't know how to use that thing, all the reading in the world ain't gonna help you. From the "Little Blue Books" published in Kansas in the 1920s, to Alex Comfort's The Joy of Sex, to The New and Improved Kama Sutra for Advanced Yoga Practitioners, with Appendices Showing Positions to Use in Three-Ways with both Pre- and Post-Op Transgender Partners, their entire sales pitch is geared around making the reader feel insecure: The sex you're having just isn't good enough, and unless you change your ways, your unfulfilled boyfriend/girlfriend/herd of sheep will leave you.

Of course, this is ridiculous: Somehow, humanity managed to climb down from the trees, learn to walk upright, build great civilizations, survive the Black Death, and come up with the idea of cable TV without having to invent the butt plug. Sex, at its most basic level, is so easy even our President managed to get it right at least once. (The last president, on the other hand, seems to have gotten it right a few too many times.)

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