"The Official newspaper of Colorado's only Aligator Farm"
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I swear to god, I am not making this up! After dimsum today, I found this free newspaper kicking around the magazine rack at the front of the little asian grocery across the parking lot from the restaurant. You think there are no rednecks in Colorado? LET'S GET READY TO RUUUUMMMBBBBLLLEEEE!
With aligators, that is. Apparently gator ridin' is big business in Mosca, CO. (You named your city after the Spanish word for "house fly"??) Okay, well, maybe it's only medium business. Alright, it's something to do with that mud puddle out back... But we have a newspaper about it! And what a paper it is. Proudly proclaiming its individuality, and endorsement by the powers that be! And just look at that cowboy hat wearin' gator in the top right! It just begs to be an LJ icon!
Chock full of informative articles such as "How To Rassle A Gator" (which provides such insightful wisdom as "Wrestling aligators is a lot like life itself...") this one is sure to satisfy your craving to put your hands in the mouth of an 11 foot long example one of earth's oldest predators. Why, just look at all the fine people in attendance in that top picture!
In the background we have the Crocodile Dundee redneck, the boyishly cute but freakishly tall redneck, the body-builder redneck, and finally the "whigger with bling bling" redneck. (Flashing his devil horns, he keeps it real - for his scaly green homies!) But the coup de gras in this tail-thrashin' festival of comedy is the two apparent members of Insane Clown Posse who took some time off from recording their next chart-topping album to show up to the gator rodeo, facepaint and all! Proudly sporting their trophy (presumably awarded for making the aligators bust out laughing the hardest) these two cap off a peek into a world far more muddy, brutish and short than even Hobbes had imagined.
Come one, come all to the gator rodeo! It's even more fun than pokin' your sister!! Yes friends, I can hear the bluegrass strummin' away now...