Ben Cantrick (mackys) wrote,
Ben Cantrick

[MeFi] The Waterfall method of software development is back!!

After years of being disparaged by some in the software development community, the waterfall process is back with a vengeance. You've always known a good waterfall-based process is the right way to develop software projects. Come to the Waterfall 2006 conference and attend these valuable tutorials:

  • Avoiding the Seven Pitfalls of Lean by Mary Poppendieck
  • Pair Managing: Two Managers per Programmer by Jim Highsmith
  • Making Outsourcing Work: One Team Member per Continent by Babu Bhatt
  • User Interaction: It Was Hard to Build, It Should Be Hard to Use by Jeff Patton
  • Slash and Burn: Rewrite Your Enterprise Applications Twice a Year by Michael Feathers
  • Defect-full Code: Ensuring Future Income with Maintenance Contracts by Kay Pentecost
  • Very Large Projects: How to Go So Slow No One Knows You'll Never Deliver by Jutta Eckstein
  • Pragmatic Project Chores: How to Do Everything Manually, Over and Over Again by Mike Clark
  • The Role of Governance in Process Maturity: We're Lawyers, and We're Here To Help by Jackie Chiles
  • Working Harder, Instead of Smarter by Jon Kale
  • Fit Testing In When You Can; Otherwise Skip It by Ward Cunningham
  • User Feedback: Eliminating the Main Cause of Project Overruns

Because it's possible you may want to attend all sessions, Waterfall 2006 features no concurrent sessions. All sessions are run sequentially for your enjoyment. However, since in a waterfall process we don't want testers to know anything about coding, or programmers to know anything about design, and so on, you can only attend sessions that match your job function. When you register to attend you'll be asked to select an appropriate job function. When sessions that are not relevant to you are running you will be required to sit idle in the lobby.

Most people reading this are now asking themselves: "What the heck???" It's okay, the nerds are just cracking obscure jokes again about dark emitting diodes and sweeping up dropped packets behind the router. Just smile and nod - we'll lapse back into something vaguely understandable eventually. ;]
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