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[TechNudge] E3 to Booth Babes: Quit being so damn attractive! - Adventures in Engineering — LiveJournal
The wanderings of a modern ronin.

Ben Cantrick
  Date: 2006-05-11 18:50
  Subject:   [TechNudge] E3 to Booth Babes: Quit being so damn attractive!
  Mood:geeklarity ensues
  Music:Motley Crue - Girls, Girls, Girls

Let's face it, a Geek Fest without Scantily Clad Babes (SCB) is just as boring as Comdex - and will eventually suffer the same fate. If parents are worried about their impressionable 32 year old seeing SCB and thinking that perhaps there is a life outside of IT, then they shouldn't give them the money for the ticket.


The flesh police have already moved to clamp down on excessively hot dermatological action: booth babe Pauline K told Reuters that one strumpet had already got a finger-wagging for too much cleavage. Ms K herself escaped censure, although she was wearing "a white shredded tank top with an exposed midriff, short mini skirt and knee-high leggings as she handed out fliers for a company that makes custom face plates for Microsoft Corp's Xbox 360 game machine.

And the aforementioned consequences are indeed dire: a verbal warning for a first flash of skin and then a $5,000 fine if the perpetrator continues to flaunt herself like a two-bit hussy, Reuters reports.


Apparently the rules prohibit shirts with "exposed midriffs." Right. Because the world is going to end if someone catches a glance of a belly button.

Of course, you can sell more skin in your games all day long and they won't even peep:

Lara Croft's breasts are to get a boost for the new version of Tomb Raider. According to the game's designers, her 38D assets [see Technical Briefing below] will be given "more definition". They won't necessarily be bigger but will have added detail - so, presumably they will look bigger. We're also waiting on an answer as to whether this extra "detail" will include nipples.

(j_b called this one dead on. It was just last evening he said to me on the phone, "So if you dump the thread cache on a Tomb Raider game, can you find the routines for nipple shading?")

Core Design has got back to us to clarify a few things about Lara's breasts. They are not, repeat, not, larger. But they do have much finer detail. They are a 34D, not 38D as has been reported. The thing is, your Lara breast is currently made of 500 polygons. With new technology, they will now be boosted to 4,000 to 5,000 polygons. And you know what that means? A better breast.

You'll be excited to know that her face and hands will be better rendered. Not interested? Oh well. Anyway, the new game will apparently not even be of the Tomb Raider series. It will be a different game featuring not only Lara but other characters (men and women) as well. The plot has been worked out and will traverse several future games. So there you have it.

Lucy Sherriff, the only woman in the Reg office, writes: Should you ever need to know how bra sizes work, don't look to the creators of Lara Croft for advice. Their suggestion that Lara Croft wears a 38D is utter nonsense. The first part of a bra size is actually the measurement around the rib cage, just under the boobs. The second part in a measurement of the difference between the breast, at its fullest point, and the rib cage measurement. If Lara Croft is 38 inches round her rib cage, I'll eat my hat.


(I swear, I'm not making these URLs up! ;D)

I so need to get to E3 again somehow. If only to really get a chance to browse through Kentia Hall (where all the interesting stuff is).
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  User: pacchi
  Date: 2006-05-11 21:28 (UTC)
  Subject:   What?! I never wore that!
I wouldn't mind being a changing room security camera technician at E3...

I mean er... don't you just need to print up a batch of business cards to buy a ticket? Or at least, that's how the industry only conventions in Taiwan worked. A Business Card counted as proof of industry membership, and then you were expected to jostle everyone else that wanted to take a look at the latest CAD/CAM tooling setups for your very own factory, free installation for bulk buys...

Mackysoft: a boutique research studio dedicated to realistic ballistics modelling physics engines with built in hardsuit simulation modules. Senior SCB research Project Coordinator...?

Anyhow, it's a trade show... corporate execs expect to be swayed by SCBs and large dinners!

- P
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Ben Cantrick
  User: mackys
  Date: 2006-05-11 22:39 (UTC)
  Subject:   (no subject)
Hehehe. You know, I didn't even notice the name when I posted the article. Funny little world.

don't you just need to print up a batch of business cards to buy a ticket?

That's all it took when I went. We hired two programmers, printed some business cards, and paid E3 the $1,000 each for deluxe tickets. Done deal.

Senior SCB research Project Coordinator...?

Actually, I was hoping for a federal research grant!

Anyhow, it's a trade show... corporate execs expect to be swayed by SCBs and large dinners!

I'm probably engaging in sacrilige here, but I have to question the effectiveness of booth babes in an environment like E3. I still remember from when I went in 2k2. There was so much noise, confusion and visual stimulation that you could set off a nuke in the place and I'm not sure many people would notice. The only booth babe I can remember was the one who wore bright pink shorts everywhere, and I don't even remember (in fact, I don't think I ever knew) what she was promoting.

Attempting to light up some high-priority cortex in a guy's brain with booth babes might work at a boring trade show, where that brain is otherwise quiescent. But the amount of neural stimulation you are continuously bombarded with at E3 is so huge that even a really, really hot booth babe doesn't register much more than a synaptic flicker compared to all the seven foot screens, enormous crowds, and constant chest-thumping virtual explosions. Guys don't stop to read Playboy when they're in the middle of a hockey game, and booth babes are probably a waste of money at E3. At least, in the main exhibition halls.

The actual utility of booth babes seems to be websites writing E3 roundups and including pictures of the booth babes. Maybe THAT's the actual reason why game companies hire booth babes. Not to grab the attetion of gamers, who are all too busy lining up for a 6 hour wait at the Nintendo booth so they can play with a gyro-controller. Rather, it's to encourage webjournalists to take pictures of their booth (babes) and thus get free advertising that way.
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Ben Cantrick
  User: mackys
  Date: 2006-05-17 23:54 (UTC)
  Subject:   Late breaking update...
The phrase "nerfed booth babe" has become quite popular at E3 this year. Heheh. It's funny because it's true...
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May 2015