Ben Cantrick (mackys) wrote,
Ben Cantrick
mackys

Trivial personal stuff.



Had my first day at Radio Shack today. As far as retail jobs go, I seem to have found one that is almost as good as it could possibly be. My manager is way, way cool and relaxed. The store has been so badly managed in the past that my merely saying "hi" to the customers as they enter and helping them find what they're looking for (if they want me to) makes our performance numbers look stellar by comparison. And ironically, I really do enjoy helping people find this stuff. I'm not a salesman and I never will be, as I utterly hate even thinking about manipulating other people. But being an honest, smart, helpful clerk I am great at, and I love it.

Now, the job may not be as pleasant most days as it was today. Since today was a holiday and there were two of us working, we didn't have a huge rush of customers needing attention. There was lots of time to relax and chat, learn the register, little stuff like that. On a crazy day I imagine everyone's gonna be pretty frazzled by the end of the shift. Still, if today was even anywhere near typical, this is going to be parsecs better than Worst Buy. The only other downside is that the pay is less than what I need to be financially solvent again - unless I continue to live with my parents.

Which brings us nicely to the next subject...

I had told my Dad on Saturday that I was officially employed in Boulder, and told him about the financial particulars. Although I knew he would tell me no (have known it since we talked two weeks ago over dinner at Bennigan's), I asked him again if he thought it might be possible for me to move back to his place. At that time, he said he'd have to think about it and email me - Monday at the latest, he said.

I had no email from him by Sunday night and I figured I wasn't going to get one. However, he did leave a voice mail message for me today. Basically, said "come by and have dinner with us, and we'll talk about this." So, long story short, my dad and step mom are pleased that I have a job, and happy that I'm trying to find a way to be financially independent again, but their overriding feeling is still that I'm a bad person for keeping my 300ZX and my motorcycle at the cost of my financial independence. And that as long as I own those two things, they will not put a roof over my head.

Which is fair enough, I guess. I can't say I agree with them, of course, as I like my 300ZX better than anything just short of life itself. And they are, of course, badly mistaken if they think anything they can do will make me let go of it. (If it comes to it, I'll live inside the damn thing, and pay $60 a month to a health club so that I have some place to shower every morning.)

It doesn't seem to me that my living with them is a burden, or at least they never mentioned anything like that. I don't think I'm noisy or a bad roommate. But it doesn't seem to be a matter of inconvenience to them, rather one purely of principle. And I don't believe it's my place to tell them how to live their lives. So, they've made their choices as best they know how, and now we all get to live with them. And both standing on principle and living with the consequences of the actions that you've chosen, good or bad, are exactly what I believe in too come to think of it. So there's balance in the world.

Which again brings us rather nicely to the next subject...

I am very lucky that their lack of support doesn't hurt me. VERY. I cannot express how lucky I am. Un-fucking-ChristInHeaven-HellFreezingOverSatanGoingSkiing-PleaseMakeItStop-believable lucky that my mom is here to support my sorry ass. I may complain occasionally, but trust me, I know how lucky I am, and I am hideously greatful.

Font size = 900 is insufficient to express this gratitude, but let's have it anyway:

THANK YOU MOM!
THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING.
I LOVE YOU...


And that's all I have to say about that.


I'm still going to be looking for a place in Boulder than I can afford. At my current wages, this amounts to slightly more than $250/mo. I don't know anywhere in Boulder that you can get a room for anything within a hundred bucks of that, but I'm going to try.

If you know anyone who wants to rent out a spare room for cheap, and live in South Boulder, please please please give me their number so I can ask them about it. I have a few leads, but they're not great ones. I'll be searching the papers, etc, but I'm not confident of finding what I need. (Which is ironic, since I'm pretty sure that given current economic conditions, there are probably lots more than the usual number of people out there who wouldn't mind taking on a quiet, full time employed adult boarder...)

Nor am I going to stop looking for a better job, of course. If this Radio Shack job paid my bills, I'd stay here a long time. I am also really greatful for this job. Just the opportunity I've been given here, to work at a job I don't loathe to the fucking core, is amazing given how bad my luck has been these last 11 months. But as much as I would like to, I absolutely cannot rest on my laurels. Just as it has been for almost the past year, so it still is. Either I manage to swim, however akwardly and feebly - or I sink and die. Those have been, and still are, my only two options.
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