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Adventures in Engineering
The wanderings of a modern ronin.

Ben Cantrick
  Date: 2007-09-28 13:57
  Subject:   Scientists Ask Congress To Fund $50 Billion Science Thing
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  Music:Chemlab - 21st Century (from Magnetic Field Remixes)



Another diagram presented to lawmakers contained several important squiggly lines, numbers, and letters. Despite not being numbers, the letters were reportedly meant to represent mathematics too. The scientists seemed to believe that correct math was what would help make the science thing go.

The scientists concluded their presentation by informing the committee that, if constructed correctly, the super science-flyer would be able to answer questions about many, many things, mainly stuff about the universe that sounded like it would be very good to know about.

"Now, I'm no science major, but if I'm being told by a group of people that the protons, neutrons, and electrons need unifying, then I think we owe it to the American people to go in and unify them," Rep. Mark Udall (D-CO) said. "After all, isn't a message of unity what we want to send to our children?"

"These scientists could trim $10 million if they would just cut out some of the purple and blue spheres," said Rep. Roscoe Bartlett (R-MD), explaining that he understood the need for an abundance of reds and greens. "With all of those molecules and atoms going in every direction, the whole thing looks a bit unorganized, especially for science."


http://www.theonion.com/content/news/scientists_ask_congress_to_fund_50
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(no subject) - (Anonymous)
Ben Cantrick
  User: mackys
  Date: 2007-09-28 22:28 (UTC)
  Subject:   (no subject)
The best Onion articles are the "it's funny because it's true" ones. This is definitely one of those. ;]
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