Ben Cantrick (mackys) wrote,
Ben Cantrick

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Dreamworks buys rights to Ghost In The Shell

DreamWorks has acquired rights to the Japanese manga "Ghost in the Shell" with plans to adapt the futuristic police thriller as a 3-D live-action feature. Avi Arad, Ari Arad and Steven Paul of Seaside Entertainment are attached to produce and brought the project to the studio. Jamie Moss has been tapped to pen the adaptation. Avi Arad is at the forefront of comicbook-based material, having produced the three "Spider-Man" films, the three "X-Men" movies, the two "Fantastic Four" pics and the upcoming "Iron Man" and "The Incredible Hulk."

We've talked with the people at Dreamworks, and here's a quick list of the improvements that they hope to bring to the latest installation in the Ghost in the Shell franchise:

10. Cute kid to follow everyone around and ask a lot of questions
9. Helpless female with nasal voice that screams a lot and has to be rescued over and over
8. Less edgy animation so that American audience doesn't find it quite so jarring
7. Speaking of jarring, do you think we could borrow Jar-jar from Lucas?
6. Deep philosophical conundrums replaced with pop psychology and Jedi aphorisms.
5. More clothing to avoid the R rating
4. More senseless violence to fill in the parts we had to take out.
3. A properly evil villain so people know who to hate.
2. Good old-fashioned technobabble.
1. A talking Donkey

I don't believe this remake could possibly do the original GItS movie1 justice. There's way too much violence, nudity, philosophy, and long-winded political intrigue in it for the average member of the American public. Then throw in a sentient AI that's neither a faceless, evil supercomputer nor a lobotomized, passive servant and you can forget about it. Any remake that captured 1/10th the depth of the original would be a massive box-office flop in America.

There was nothing wrong with the original GItS movie, and there's no good reason to remake it. At least with SpiderMan and X-Men there weren't previous movies to ruin. The only thing this adaptation can accomplish is to dumb it all down and thus lose everything that made GItS great. They won't get Ron Perlman for Batou. They won't have the SFX budget to do the thermoptic camo, cybernetics or martial arts right. Hell, they won't even be able to match the original's opening credits. If we're very, very lucky this movie will suffer the same fate as the Battle Angel movie and die a nice quiet death, far away from any actual movies sets or motion picture cameras.

Hey Hollywood, why don't you stick to giving the American public more of the 4th grade mentality anime they actually want. Like Pokemon. Or Naruto. (Oh wait - you ARE!)

Now get off my lawn!

1 I agree with his comment about Kusanagi's character design. I like it a lot better in GItS:SAC.
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