Ben Cantrick (mackys) wrote,
Ben Cantrick

[Fark] I, for one, welcome our computer-brain-implanted cyborg masters.

Less than a month after a widely heralded experiment showed how thought-reading implants can work in monkeys, scientists presented new findings Sunday suggesting such machines could work in people, too.

Dr. Miguel A.L. Nicolelis of Duke University said previously unreported human experiments demonstrated success with one type of a so-called brain computer interface, or BCI.

Nicolelis said the important point was that the principle had been shown to work: People can control devices merely by thinking.

Ultimately, it may be possible to design high-tech implants that can read and direct the muscles using the patient's own intentions and natural sensory equipment.

For now, it's a much less grandiose business of just tuning the equipment to the human brain's frequency.

Meanwhile, Nicolelis decried the entry of corporate interests into a field once thought to be purely science fiction, now being taken seriously as modern medicine at the cutting edge of technology.

Once we all get computer brain implants, how long before they're net connected? And how long after that before the spammers start sending ads straight into your visual cortex? And after THAT, how much longer before someone figures out some way to do a denial of service attack on your hippocampus? And will the end result of too many brain-burning attacks be that you shamble about, and attempt to eat other people? (Thus making you a "DDoS zombie"...)

In other news, it's time to send the missles. Humanity has, once again, proven itself too stupid to live:

The creators of the video game series "Grand Theft Auto" want a federal judge to dismiss a $246 million lawsuit filed by the families of two people shot by teenagers.

Stepbrothers William Buckner, 16, and Joshua Buckner, 14, were sentenced in August to an indefinite term after pleading guilty in juvenile court to reckless homicide, endangerment and assault.

The boys told investigators they got the rifles from a locked room in their home and decided to randomly shoot at tractor-trailer rigs, just like in the video game "Grand Theft Auto III."

I don't know who's stupider. The morons who thought shooting at random cars would be "lotsa fun!" or the morons who think that a video game could cause them enough mental damage to do it. (Obviously, there wasn't much left to damage...)

Cuz, you know, just yesterday in Jak II, I went and used my hover-board to throw plasmite bombs into eco wells. So that makes it okay if tomorrow, I jump in my Hummvee and go throw grenades into oil wells. Er... wait...
  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.