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[Memeage] We don't need no steenkin' paid accounts!! - Adventures in Engineering — LiveJournal
The wanderings of a modern ronin.

Ben Cantrick
  Date: 2003-11-19 10:05
  Subject:   [Memeage] We don't need no steenkin' paid accounts!!
Yes folks, it's time for the "Ask me a question. Ask me any question you want." meme.

I can't do it as a poll right here in the LJ entry because you need a paid account to do that. But I do have anon posting turned on, so ask away...

(I doubt this is going to be as amusing as zonereyrie's, but I'm bored so what the hell.)
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  User: (Anonymous)
  Date: 2003-11-19 18:25 (UTC)
  Subject:   So Ben...
Have you stopped beating your wife?
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Ben Cantrick
  User: mackys
  Date: 2003-11-19 20:38 (UTC)
  Subject:   Excellent question!
The only decent answer to that one is:

"I'm not married!"

(Simpson's Kid)Heh-HEH!(/Simpson's Kid)

(GTA: Vice City "VROCK" radio station plays:)

NARRATOR: He... was a man of peace. Living on a quiet farm in North Dakota. Till
one day... all hell broke loose! (Gun shots are heard)

SOLDIER: Tim! We need you!

TIM: I’m a man of peace, I’m done killing! I wanna raise a family!

SOLDIER: That’s just it Tim! They got your family!

TIM: Nooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!

NARRATOR: Jack Howitzer is Tim, in Exploder! From the heart of America to the jungles of Cambodia, follow one man’s quest... for peace.

TIM: Hoochi Vet is that you?

HOOCHI: Tim, I know you come! Just like old days! We kill everybody!

SOLDIER: Tim... they've got your wife!

TIM: But I’m not married!!

SOLDIER: You are now - to America!

NARRATOR: He went in to save his country, but found his family and lost a friend. (Gun shot)

TIM: Hoochi!

HOOCHI: Tim don’t leave me! You taught me baseball game, and how to laugh!

TIM: Nooooooooooo! ... He would have been a fine American! I’ll cry when I’m done killin'...

NARRATOR: Get yourself a body bag. Strap yourself in. Start making friends - the American way!

EXXPLODER: Evacuator Part 2! Rated PG (may include Patriotic Garbage).

(Cue The Kult's "She Sells Sanctuary"...)

-Ben "Here’s some more nonstop, help me I’m unemployed rock!" Cantrick
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  User: (Anonymous)
  Date: 2003-11-19 22:41 (UTC)
  Subject:   (no subject)
What do you want most?

Seriously, now.
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Rosie the queen of Corona
  User: pugzie
  Date: 2003-11-19 22:43 (UTC)
  Subject:   (no subject)
I want you, Jason.
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Ben Cantrick
  User: mackys
  Date: 2003-11-20 06:31 (UTC)
  Subject:   Short term or long term?
Long term I'm really not sure what I want. I sort of intentionally have no long term goals except: "Keep working with computers. Keep learning. Keep having fun." I could come up with something abstract like "world peace", but that's kind of a meaningless thing to say.

Short term? A decent job. (Defined as: I'm writing code full time and getting paid more than $10/hr for it.) Everything I want in my life right now flows from that. I feel getting a decent job will require that Duh-bya be kicked out of the White House and sent back to Texas whence he came. And his little dog too. So my short term goal is to do what little I can through the means available to me to get the shrub kicked out.

Medium term, I think I'm angling for understanding relationships well enough do better than "one good one out of every six." This seems to be the hardest thing to make any progress at all on (let alone accomplish) at present. I put it in the medium term because I believe that until I have a more stable life, which will not happen until I accomplish my short-term goal, I will not be able to accomplish this one either.

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  User: (Anonymous)
  Date: 2003-11-20 07:28 (UTC)
  Subject:   On the way to North St. Vrain Creek
Dear Ben,
Due to our long friendship, I have asked my lawyers not to write you yet if you explain and publicly apologise for what happened when I stopped over at Boulder on the way to North St. Vrain Creek with the Yves St. Laurent makeup artist Patrick. With reference to these articles:

They said to let you know that the stains are still visible on the underwear and the Daimyo, especially the bloodstains on the Hermes scarf, even though they are not obvious in the photographs.

I am deeply hurt. I had first dibs on Patrick. I didn't know what was worse, to find you in my La Perla or that Patrick was in no condition to take me down for dinner. Please keep the fishing hooks and my 10 cup Alessi cafetiere. I doubt the wire mesh and plunger works anymore..
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Ben Cantrick
  User: mackys
  Date: 2003-11-21 00:18 (UTC)
  Subject:   I didn't do it.
Nobody saw me do it.
You can't prove anything.
The sheep are lying.

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Ben Cantrick
  User: mackys
  Date: 2003-11-22 05:17 (UTC)
  Subject:   Eh, everyone who hasn't posted is boring...
I thought this was gonna be a bit slow, but I didn't think it was gonna be downright lame!

Ah well.

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  User: (Anonymous)
  Date: 2003-11-25 02:17 (UTC)
  Subject:   (no subject)
If you could change one fundamental thing about the world, what would it be? (Aside from booting GWB, of course)
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Ben Cantrick
  User: mackys
  Date: 2003-11-25 02:39 (UTC)
  Subject:   Oh man, good question...
The problem with trying to select only ONE thing is that I seem to always feel one of two ways...

A) The world is totally fucked up, so push the button and send the missles. Humanity is beyond redemption. Let's just take off, and nuke the site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.


B) The world is basically alright. There are a lot of little niggling problems, but we're smart enough to figure them out.

In case A), one wish is no use. There are so many things wrong one wish just isn't going to cover it. In case B), one wish is pretty much useless, since we'll figure it out eventually anyway.

Also, when you've watched as much sci-fi as I have, you're usually wary of changing past events - that whole unintended consequences thing seems to crop up quite a bit.

Today I'm more in mood B. Hence I can't think of anything that is really so fundamentally wrong in the present that I need godlike power to change it. (Hell, even if Bush gets another term, then he gets his four more years and then he's out for good. Thank god for term limits. (Heh. I bet the conservatives said the exact same thing about Clinton...))

I'll probably think up something better later on and smack myself in the head, but at the moment the best I can come up with is this:

Slavery in America never happened.

This would have some interesting consequences. American culture would probably be less rich and diverse right now since there would probably be only a teeny, tiny number of African people here. But I'm willing to take that hit for the much greater justice of never having enslaved our fellow human beings.

If I had another wish, I'd wish that bin Laden's little September 11th adventure was discovered and countered before it killed 5000 Americans in the WTC. But I bet more than 5000 slaves died during the slave trade, so I'm considering slavery a higher priority.

There's also what was essentially the genocide we perpetrated against most of the Native American population to consider. I'm not sure if partial genocide or slavery is worse. Maybe I'd have to flip my silver dollar I keep in my wallet to make a decision between those two...

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May 2015