I've been on the net for, oh, more than a decade now. In that time I've thought up "Cantrick's Laws." These are (not actually) universal truisms about the net.
Cantrick's First Law states that "The net contains all knowledge, or at least a reference thereto."
Cantrick's Second Law is really a corollary of the first, and states "Just when you think you've seen the weirdest, strangest, most screwed up kink/sexplay/whatever thing, the net will come back and smack you in the face with something twice as weird."
Guess which one of these two laws I'll be invoking in this post? ;]
So I was browsing denver.craigslist.com for jobs, and for giggles I decided I'd go check out the personals. Of course I found the usual assortment of Loathsome Lotharios ("Any ladies like to watch a man masturbate??? Or like to be watch while you masturbate?") and Gold Diggers ("You: Able to provide me with an X5 BMW Me: Provide loving fun, laughs and split monthly payments for ownership of the vehicle.") I also actually did find one personal that didn't look too bad. And then, further down the page, I came across an ad that said...
Medical Fetish Play Partner Wanted
This is my eyebrows, this is the ceiling. Ceiling, meet eyebrows. Eyebrows, the ceiling.
I couldn't resist. I clicked on it. The ad read as follows:
Middle aged, single, female, professional, slim, petite, looking for mature, middle aged, single, male partner (45+) for medical fetish play. MUST have real medical training for invasive edge play (Nurse, MD, Paramedic,PA). See my profile at http://profiles.yahoo.com/medfetwoman
Do you want to know what the yahoo profile says? Well, click away! I couldn't help but burst out laughing after reading the words "scopes of all kinds" under "Hobbies".
NOT THAT THERE'S ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT!