Ben Cantrick (mackys) wrote,
Ben Cantrick

MrCranky on LOTR: ROTK

I spent the last 40 minutes of this thing wondering when in the hell it was going to stop. It fades to black more times than Ozzy Osbourne taking an I.Q. test.

Frodo (Elijah Wood) and Sam (Sean Astin) start slowly hoofing it up Mt. Doom while Aragorn (Viggo Mortensen) and the other members of the Fellowship battle the evil Orcs. It's almost as if the hike takes place in real time. It made me think that Mt. Doom badly needs a gondola.

And is it just me or is there enough man-love in this film to make a Promise Keeper weep? Merry (Dominic Monaghan) loves Pippin (Billy Boyd), Gimli (John Rhys-Davies) loves Legolas (Orlando Bloom), and of course, Sam loves Frodo. It's pretty certain that once this whole battle for Middle Earth is over, there are going to be more than a few members of the Fellowship in therapy trying to straighten out their sexuality.

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