Breakup tapes come in two varieties:
1. Tapes made with the intention of bringing the other party to their senses, i.e., making them come crawling back to you on their knees begging for forgiveness.
2. Tapes made with the purpose of informing your former love that you are either:
A) pissed off/angry/heartbroken/hopeless/sobbing/i
n mourning, OR
B) you cannot possibly believe that you spent ANY time with them, let alone the substantial amount of time that you wasted with them, and while you're pissed off and angry, you're actually happy to be rid of them, are having a wonderful time without them, and by the way, fuck you very much and that skanky skeezer you rode off on.
(Thanks to Ada for the link.)
Of course, this post would not be complete without the track list of the mix CD I just made to emotionally flush out the last of Christine. The "Part 1" etc stuff was going to be some stuff I spoke and recorded, and then intercut with the music. But the going away party notice was way too short. Ah well.
"Part 1: The Past. Irony seems to be a dominant theme in my life. You think you're incapable of love and then you find it in the most unlikely place. Unfortunately, as any guy and most girls can tell you, love is not always returned..."
Queensryche - I Don't Believe In Love
Robert Palmer - Addicted to Love
U2 - The Fly
"Part 2: All bad, all the time. To call what we had a relationship would probably give any relationship counselor on the planet a good chuckle. It became apparent to me pretty quickly that you just didn't like me. Strange, that being the case I can't figure out why you agreed to go out with me. But I guess I shouldn't attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by youthful stupidity. And I doubt it was any good for you either. Just one request for the future though - never, ever invite a guy into your bed unless you fully and completely intend to fuck him."
Puddle Of Mudd - She Fucking Hates Me
The Offspring - Issues
Motley Crue - Too Young To Fall In Love
"Part 3 - Anger, Bargaining, Acceptance. Psychologically speaking, denial, anger, bargaining and finally acceptance are the stages people go through when an emotional loss occurs. Of course, in my case, the denial was long gone. But the anger sure stuck around a long time, didn't it?"
NIN - Something I Can Never Have
Joan Jett - I hate myself for loving you
Type O Negative - Blood And Fire
Queensryche - Eyes Of A Stranger
"Part 4 - Back to the beginning of the cycle. Of course, hope springs eternal. Pandora's box can't be re-closed once open. And, life does go on. As Nizche said, "That which does not kill us makes us stronger." Though, sometimes it does change you in strange ways. But change is not always bad, even if it's sometimes difficult. I did learn from my time dealing with you. And I think I'm a better person because of it. And now I move on... and so do you. Bit poetic, don't you think?"
Tom Petty - Feel A Whole Lot Better
Tom Petty - The Apartment Song
"Postscript: Goodbye Christine. I think I'm going to feel a whole lot better when you're gone..."